Crazy MOH sister

Hi,

So I wrote in before about these Valentino shoes. But I come to you with an altogether different conundrum today. I recently read that you were looking for some cunty MOH. Well, I think I might be able to help with that.

My FH and I wanted a no mess, no fuss kinda wedding which I am pulling off pretty well so far. We agreed to only have one best 'person' each, he asked his best friend and I asked my sister. Now my sister and I are not particularly close, but I thought we got each other. Plus she is super organized and would be perfect for on the day when I needed stuff to get done without having to ask for it to be done.

That is until recently when she has been going through a bit of a change in boyfriends, a lot of work pressure and my parents are having a difficult time in their marriage and it's taking its toll on her. We have never had the same taste; she likes flying ponies, champagne towers, glitzy dresses and all about making a statement. I like simple and timeless. So since it is my wedding I thought that she would be supportive with what I wanted. I guess I thought wrong.

When I asked her to be my MOH she was super happy. Then when I was discussing dates with her and my parents I mentioned two dates and her response was, 'None of those dates have any specific meaning to you, they are just numbers. So just pick one.' So that is what I did. I found her response to be unhelpful, but whatever.

The one thing my sister and I have always bonded over is food - we love to cook. So when I called her to come over to my place to have dinner and discuss what we could be eating at the wedding I thought it would be a great collaboration. Everything that I mentioned she turned her nose up at and had a different idea. It was very much like, 'Yeah, that sounds nice but what you should actually do is...' and every idea would be an elaborate scheme of how to make simple, delicious food into something that crazysauce would have given birth to. (Salad dressing in glass droppers hanging from the ceiling above the tables!!!??) Anyway, my general response was, 'Hmmm, yeah we could do it like that.' I then made my appointment with the caterers on a weekday (maybe on purpose), she was working, and so I went with another friend of mine and am getting what I want.

The next incident happened when I showed her a picture of my dress. She wasn't able to come with when I went to look for it. I had a friend with a contact in vintage dresses she stipulated the day she could open her store for me and I went in and immediately found my dress and paid for it a week later. So when I showed her the picture I thought she would be excited. She looked at it and said, 'Oh. It's not what I imagined it would be.' So I asked her what she thought it would look like and she said, 'I dunno. Just different. It's just a dress.' To which I replied that that is exactly what I wanted, just a dress and the reason I bought it was what made it special. But the way she said it really hurt and by now, I would actually have like some support from her.

The final straw that go me writing into you was when we started discussing what she would wear. I ordered this dress off eBay which fit her perfectly but she didn't like the length, the colour or the bottom half of the dress.

Fine. I can always wear it another time, I did order it for me. But then I sent her a couple pictures of dresses and asked her if she could pick a colour to wear what would it be? (This is bearing in mind that I am wearing a slighty pinkish all lace long dress). She responded with this (1) and this (2) and this (3). And also called me at 7am this morning, a Sunday, twice to tell me that she had found a dress! (Her favourite is number 1.)

Now what I guess I am asking is, should I just continue ignoring her craziness and just make sure I get what I want, or should I actually say something to her? And perhaps even ask my best friend to step in as a bridesmaid to help 'control' my sister? I am just afraid of what she is going to do for my bridal shower - I have already suggested that she work with my best friend, but she said to me, 'If I need help I will ask for it.'

From,
Simple Sister

Still Secretly Updating My Playlist

Dear ESB,

My MOH is my best friend and generally pretty awesome. She is also FH’s cousin and currently planning her own wedding to FH’s friend. She got engaged a week before me (the fellas unknowingly bought rings on the same day) and set their date a few days later. FH and I had a harder time setting our date. We’d always envisioned fall, but have siblings getting married this year and next, and our other siblings couldn’t afford to fly across the country twice within a few months. Outdoor wedding was a must, so we chose next summer, six weeks before MOH’s wedding. She wasn’t happy but seemed to get over it, and our weddings are turning out to be quite different. Hers is a sit-down dinner at a beautiful but expensive country club. Ours is a (hopefully) relaxed and cheap beach ceremony followed by a party in my parents’ backyard nearby. A friend’s cousin will be doing our buffet-style catering. His wife is a DJ and offers discounts to people who book both of them. Sounds obvious that we should hire her, right? Nope. MOH was the one who first talked about this DJ, and then declared that we can’t have the same one because our weddings will be too similar and will have the same music. I thought all wedding DJs played basically the same music? The standards with some requests thrown in? Anyway, I never even wanted a DJ in the first place. After I got engaged, I started happily creating a playlist of my favorite love and dance songs peppered with the weird crap I like. But FH really wants a DJ and MOH convinced me that I should compromise. I agreed, and he said he would take care of the pricing, contract, etc. Then MOH called dibs on this DJ. FH thinks it’s ridiculous and plans on pursuing her anyway. A part of me feels like I should just let the two of them work it out. They’re family after all. But I love them both dearly and don’t want this to cause a fight, especially over something that is so low on my list of things to give a shit about. Any advice would be appreciated.

Sincerely,

Still Secretly Updating My Playlist