I have debated emailing you for awhile but have decided to.
Here is my story... fairly shortened.
I had a friend, well she was my best friend for about 6 years. I lived away at school & she lived here in my hometown (where I am getting married) and we talked everyday- she told me about her multiple secret lives (she is mormon but would do everything mormons weren't supposed to do) & I wouldn't judge her becuase she was my friend. I was a good friend, one of her best friends that she wouldn't have to untag in facebook pictures because her family may see them, I would come over and hang out with her family & was good friends with all of them- basically we were best friends. So naturally when I got engaged I asked her to be in my wedding.
I moved home in May of last year, saw her several times in the summer- which was odd but I wrote it off as us being busy. I saw her the first week of August and then didn't see her again till December at Christmas time- ya I know... so much for being best friends if we can't see each other for 4-5 months while living in the same town. This is when I started thinking hmmm... she isn't really my best friend anymore, won't really answer my phone calls & won't return them- can't make time for each other.
I put part of the blame on my shoulders... but its obvious we are not friends like we used to be. I thought maybe things will get better... I tried telling her that if things were too busy or since we can't make time for each other then maybe I should just have family in the wedding... she assured me that things would get better. Well they haven't and recently she we were supposed to take a trip to California and things didn't go as well as I had hoped... as well as it would have gone if we were best friends.
I guess after all this... my question is... we aren't friends like we used to be & I don't just want bridesmaids up there to stand with me- I want them to support my fiance & I's decision and be there for us- and I don't think she is that person to me anymore. It makes me sad and I have avoided telling her for sometime because I wish we were still friends and don't want to cut ties with her family but I am stuck. (Everyone else in the bridal party is basically telling me to kick her out) & I don't know how to tell her (I am not one to lie) or what to say- I would rather it be in person but by our track record I wouldn't see her till the wedding.
Thanks,
[My] Bridesmaid['s] gone rogue
Here is my story... fairly shortened.
I had a friend, well she was my best friend for about 6 years. I lived away at school & she lived here in my hometown (where I am getting married) and we talked everyday- she told me about her multiple secret lives (she is mormon but would do everything mormons weren't supposed to do) & I wouldn't judge her becuase she was my friend. I was a good friend, one of her best friends that she wouldn't have to untag in facebook pictures because her family may see them, I would come over and hang out with her family & was good friends with all of them- basically we were best friends. So naturally when I got engaged I asked her to be in my wedding.
I moved home in May of last year, saw her several times in the summer- which was odd but I wrote it off as us being busy. I saw her the first week of August and then didn't see her again till December at Christmas time- ya I know... so much for being best friends if we can't see each other for 4-5 months while living in the same town. This is when I started thinking hmmm... she isn't really my best friend anymore, won't really answer my phone calls & won't return them- can't make time for each other.
I put part of the blame on my shoulders... but its obvious we are not friends like we used to be. I thought maybe things will get better... I tried telling her that if things were too busy or since we can't make time for each other then maybe I should just have family in the wedding... she assured me that things would get better. Well they haven't and recently she we were supposed to take a trip to California and things didn't go as well as I had hoped... as well as it would have gone if we were best friends.
I guess after all this... my question is... we aren't friends like we used to be & I don't just want bridesmaids up there to stand with me- I want them to support my fiance & I's decision and be there for us- and I don't think she is that person to me anymore. It makes me sad and I have avoided telling her for sometime because I wish we were still friends and don't want to cut ties with her family but I am stuck. (Everyone else in the bridal party is basically telling me to kick her out) & I don't know how to tell her (I am not one to lie) or what to say- I would rather it be in person but by our track record I wouldn't see her till the wedding.
Thanks,
[My] Bridesmaid['s] gone rogue
