Bridesmaid help!

Hey!

First off, I love your blog! I came across it while googling "how to deal with cunt-y future sister in law!" I never thought I'd have to write you for advice, but the cunty future sister in law has gotten the best of me.

Let me start at the beginning. We used to get a long great. We weren't overly friends because we're completely different people (her - bar-star kardashian wannabe, me - artist-type, who hates most pop culture) We would work out together, and I really tried to have a good relationship with her since their family is so close. Fast forward to a year and a half ago, we get engaged, I ask her to be a bridesmaid, not thinking that she could actually cause as much of a shit show of drama as the ones on the stupid reality tv shows she watches. 

I tell the girls to get whatever dress they want, in any color in the peach/cream/coral range, and figure they'll figure something out. and honestly I don't really care as long as everyone is comfortable, and the other girls all have great style. Crazy sends me this


I ask if she thinks its a little over the top for a beach wedding? She says "she loves it, and anyone she shows loves it too. And she would like to be extra dressed up, it is HER BROTHERS wedding after all" I reply that I think its hideous, but ultimately she can wear whatever she likes, and this would give me and the rest of my friends something to laugh at. She doesn't buy the dress in the end, crisis averted. 

Following all this, she causes issues with all my nearest and dearest friends planning the shower and bachelorette party, and I get to hear the girls bitch about her. In addition, shes given me a ton of "advice" that I never asked for, because she clearly thinks this is her wedding. 

Then this weekend was my bachelorette party. We all drove out to a cabin with a hot tub and drank ourselves stupid. The first night, she starts bitching about one of my other bridesmaids (who wasn't coming out until the next morning) finally one of the girls interject and say that I don't need to hear this when I'm supposed to be having fun. She shuts up, but then the next night, she starts bitching to me about all the family we didn't invite. We were trying to have a small destination wedding and despite this we still ended up inviting close to 200 people. She starts listing off about 20 family members we didn't invite, and then starts naming the friends we should have dropped so we could invite them.

I tell her we made a conscious decision not to invite family if they hadn't met our significant other because we've been dating 7 years and that should have been enough time to introduce themselves. Our families are quite large and it would be really expensive to host everyone that we barely know. She said that since we are having a destination wedding its cheap so we should figure out how to invite everyone instead of embarrassing her family. When I made the guest list, I showed it to my parents, and my future in laws, and nobody said I was missing anyone, and now she decides to start a fight with me at my party over it? AND she is deciding what we can afford? So I finish my drink and decide to go to bed because she won't shut up about it.

The next day, I come home and my fiance asks if I have fun, and I say yes, until your sister started a fight with me and ruined my night. He texts her that we invited who we invited and she needs to mind her own business. Then I get a rant of a text from her saying, "I don't know what I've ever done to you, but your being a little dramatic. I have my own problems right now and I don't need rude texts from my brother, so thanks. You brought the topic up (I didn't) and I was giving my opinion, sorry if that upset you, but don't you think your putting me in an uncomfortable position when your complaining about inviting guests you don't know, that happen to be my family or parents friends or complaining about how much you are paying? I don't know if its the stress of the wedding but your acting different lately. People can have a conversation without getting so defensive or worked up"

I honestly wasn't worked up at all and multiple times I said enough! calm down to try and get her to stop screaming at me. I can't kick her out of the wedding party, because I can't deal with anymore of her drama. Even though all my other friends say she's got to go, because who knows how much more drama she will cause in the next few months before the wedding. I'm very non-confrontational, and kicking her out will cause a war. But I need to figure out a way to deal with her, because its not like she's going anywhere.

Any Suggestions?

Thanks!

Crazy MOH sister


Hi,

So I wrote in before about these Valentino shoes. But I come to you with an altogether different conundrum today. I recently read that you were looking for some cunty MOH. Well, I think I might be able to help with that.

My FH and I wanted a no mess, no fuss kinda wedding which I am pulling off pretty well so far. We agreed to only have one best 'person' each, he asked his best friend and I asked my sister. Now my sister and I are not particularly close, but I thought we got each other. Plus she is super organized and would be perfect for on the day when I needed stuff to get done without having to ask for it to be done.

That is until recently when she has been going through a bit of a change in boyfriends, a lot of work pressure and my parents are having a difficult time in their marriage and it's taking its toll on her. We have never had the same taste; she likes flying ponies, champagne towers, glitzy dresses and all about making a statement. I like simple and timeless. So since it is my wedding I thought that she would be supportive with what I wanted. I guess I thought wrong.

When I asked her to be my MOH she was super happy. Then when I was discussing dates with her and my parents I mentioned two dates and her response was, 'None of those dates have any specific meaning to you, they are just numbers. So just pick one.' So that is what I did. I found her response to be unhelpful, but whatever.

The one thing my sister and I have always bonded over is food - we love to cook. So when I called her to come over to my place to have dinner and discuss what we could be eating at the wedding I thought it would be a great collaboration. Everything that I mentioned she turned her nose up at and had a different idea. It was very much like, 'Yeah, that sounds nice but what you should actually do is...' and every idea would be an elaborate scheme of how to make simple, delicious food into something that crazysauce would have given birth to. (Salad dressing in glass droppers hanging from the ceiling above the tables!!!??) Anyway, my general response was, 'Hmmm, yeah we could do it like that.' I then made my appointment with the caterers on a weekday (maybe on purpose), she was working, and so I went with another friend of mine and am getting what I want.

The next incident happened when I showed her a picture of my dress. She wasn't able to come with when I went to look for it. I had a friend with a contact in vintage dresses she stipulated the day she could open her store for me and I went in and immediately found my dress and paid for it a week later. So when I showed her the picture I thought she would be excited. She looked at it and said, 'Oh. It's not what I imagined it would be.' So I asked her what she thought it would look like and she said, 'I dunno. Just different. It's just a dress.' To which I replied that that is exactly what I wanted, just a dress and the reason I bought it was what made it special. But the way she said it really hurt and by now, I would actually have like some support from her.

The final straw that go me writing into you was when we started discussing what she would wear. I ordered this dress off eBay which fit her perfectly but she didn't like the length, the colour or the bottom half of the dress.


Fine. I can always wear it another time, I did order it for me. But then I sent her a couple pictures of dresses and asked her if she could pick a colour to wear what would it be? (This is bearing in mind that I am wearing a slighty pinkish all lace long dress). She responded with this (1) and this (2) and this (3). And also called me at 7am this morning, a Sunday, twice to tell me that she had found a dress! (Her favourite is number 1.)




Now what I guess I am asking is, should I just continue ignoring her craziness and just make sure I get what I want, or should I actually say something to her? And perhaps even ask my best friend to step in as a bridesmaid to help 'control' my sister? I am just afraid of what she is going to do for my bridal shower - I have already suggested that she work with my best friend, but she said to me, 'If I need help I will ask for it.'

From,
Simple Sister