Dear ESB,
I know they say weddings bring the worst out in people and two of my friends recently got married so I’ve heard them sound off, but I honestly didn’t think it was as true as it is. First of all my mother had serious health problems last February and I had gotten engaged that previous fall. My maid of honor and cousin didn’t talk to me for six months during the time just after my mother fell ill and during the beginning of my wedding planning. I emailed, called…nothing. So I had to go pick out my dress without my mom or my MOH, all my bridesmaids but one were out of state, so thankfully my wonderful coworkers and one bridesmaid came with me and it was wonderful, but it’s like really? Then when I finally did hear from her, she proceeds to sob at the bar about how she is single, and going to turn into an old maid and I’m consoling her telling her it’s going to be fine, she just needs to be positive etc. So after all that she pulled it together, it was a wonderful shower that she planned, but she did forget to invite my godmother who is now mad at me and she blew off my bachelorette party and told me the week before.
Next there is my bridesmaid who said she planned a “girl’s night” after my shower for me, which consisted of all her friends and her sister’s friends?!? She got into a fight with her sister and bff during my bachelorette party and didn’t talk to me the whole time, and she got married two years ago and they didn’t take a honeymoon and so she lets me know that they have planned it during the same week I am taking mine, in Mexico where we are going and are asking my fiancé and I if we want to go on excursion together while we are there…how bout NO, it’s my honeymoon!
My future sister-in-law just got divorced, which fine, that sucks, but I didn’t want her in my wedding party to begin with because she is a flake, not dependable and ends up pissing off my fiancé and his dad. But she got crammed down my throat by the in-laws so I included her at the expense of my other sister-in-law who I actually wanted to ask to be in the wedding. Then guess what, about 3 months before the wedding she tells me she can’t be in it. Awesome! Her flowers and gift are already purchased and because we asked her, we had to also ask my three brothers to be in my fiancée’s wedding party to be fair, so the wedding party is now massive and Rob couldn’t even ask a few of his good friends because of the dynamic. Now I will say my other bridesmaids have been awesome, and I am SO GRATEFUL to have them!!!
But let’s talk about the boys now. Best man DID NOTHING, I mean nothing, he screwed up the bachelor party and didn’t plan anything and it was almost canceled until my brother took over and planned the whole thing, and he sees nothing wrong with this.
One of the groomsmen ditched out on our Jack and Jill to go to his high school reunion, another “can’t make it to the wedding rehearsal,” but don’t worry he’s taking the Monday after the wedding off so they can enjoy a min-vacation.
Finally our wedding website caused controversy believe it or not! We have a page like most do that list the wedding party, I have them in order with how the procession will go. I had to take my future sister-in-law off because she’s out, so the last entry was my fiancée’s childhood best friend, I included descriptions and tried to list some accomplishments etc. well my fiancée’s childhood friend was unemployed at the time I created this, so I talked about him being a sports enthusiast, his beautiful wife, how he is sweet and funny…apparently his father-in-law disapproved of them coming to the wedding because he thinks they need to save money. Instead of staying this to him, he tells him that clearly from the description we must think he is stupid because we listed everyone else’s jobs and schooling but not his and we put him dead last, and said why are you going to a wedding for people you barely know…my fiancé was his best man! And instead of the childhood bestie and his wife defending us, and oh wait, my fiancé’s parents are paying for their plane tickets, we have never been anything but nice, we drove six hours to be at their wedding and paid for the hotel, attire etc… they felt the need to call us and confront us about it.
Well here is what I say to all this nonsense! I get it, this is more important to us then it is to others, but seriously we are so laid back, with barely any expectations, we haven’t asked anyone for anything we either wouldn’t do for them or haven’t already done. And we have forgiven all this nonsense and take the high road, but the website garbage was the last straw. We are in our late twenties, seriously people, you can’t pull your heads out of your asses for your friends who are asking the bare minimum of you! Well I guess now we know who are real friends are an who we can depend on and who we can’t. And it’s going to make things a lot simpler now! Gone are the days of me feeling obligated, or overly generous for these folks! And for every wedding I go to from here on out, I vow not to be an ass and put myself before the couple!!!
Sincerely,
OVER IT!!!
