Ready to pull out the Bridemaids' hair for THEM

Dear ESB,

My fiancee and I are getting married in November.  Yayyyy!!  I've asked my closest family and friends to be the bridesmaids.  Yayyyy!!  My dilemna lies with the anxiety these tricks are giving me.  None of the girls are married (the ones that are causing anxiety anyway) so they really have no idea how many miniscule idiotic details are entailed in planning a wedding.  My fiancee and I made a pact at the point of the engagement that we would NOT stress about planning this wedding.  We want to fully enjoy this momentous ocassion to its fullest extent.  Now, I know that (at least for me) it will be nearly impossible to be stress free when planning the wedding however, we have succeeded as much as possible to date.  A couple of the girls are LITERALLY up my rear end about picking a dress.  I told them that they'll be wearing black dresses and I've been on the hunt for cheese free but still reasonably priced bs dresses but this isn't sufficient for them.  I know there are a ton of places that do cheese free bs dresses but can't find any that offer dresses that cater to the budget of less than $200 that I'm looking to fulfill and I abhor the idea of getting dresses at someplace like David's.  I'm not concerned, at least not yet, that there won't be enough time to get the girls dresses.  So I guess my questions for you are: A) Am I warranted in wanting to issue the bridesmaids that are causing stress a big STFU (shut the f**k up until I find something?  and B) Could you suggest places that I can look to secure dresses that would suffice for a wedding in the budget price point of less than $200??

Signed,
Ready to pull out the Bridemaids' hair for THEM
Posted by on
Labels: ,

22 comments:

  1. Ms. BunnyMay 23, 2011 at 12:59 PM

    White House Black Market

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 23, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    First: http://shop.nordstrom.com/c/wedding-bridesmaid-dresses?campaign=0516womenlpstory1&origin=wdlp#category=b60126201&type=category&marketingslots=2&page=1&sort=featured&sortreverse=0&size=&width=&color=black&price=&brand=&instoreavailability=false&lastfilter=color&sizeFinderId=2

    Asos has free return shipping & size exchange, which is pretty awesome:
    http://us.asos.com/Vero-Moda-Vero-Moda-Sheer-Layered-Drape-Collar-Chiffon-Dress/vvns8/?iid=1570535&cid=8799&Rf-200=4&sh=0&pge=1&pgesize=200&sort=-1&clr=Black&mporgp=L1Zlcm8tTW9kYS9WZXJvLU1vZGEtU2hlZXItTGF5ZXJlZC1EcmFwZS1Db2xsYXItQ2hpZmZvbi1EcmVzcy9Qcm9kLw..

    http://us.asos.com/Hybrid-Hybrid-Three-Quarter-Sleeve-Capelet-Dress/vkk9a/?iid=1457094&cid=8799&Rf-200=4&sh=0&pge=1&pgesize=200&sort=-1&clr=Black&mporgp=L0h5YnJpZC9IeWJyaWQtVGhyZWUtUXVhcnRlci1TbGVldmUtQ2FwZWxldC1EcmVzcy9Qcm9kLw..

    http://us.asos.com/Lipsy-Lipsy-Structure-One-Shoulder-Dress/vq09l/?iid=1407222&cid=8799&Rf-200=4&sh=0&pge=1&pgesize=200&sort=-1&clr=Black&mporgp=L0xpcHN5L0xpcHN5LVN0cnVjdHVyZS1PbmUtU2hvdWxkZXItRHJlc3MvUHJvZC8.

    http://us.asos.com/French-Connection-French-Connection-Caramel-Cotton-Bow-Back-Mini-Dress/vr2pc/?iid=1515393&cid=8799&Rf-200=4&sh=0&pge=1&pgesize=200&sort=-1&clr=Black&mporgp=L0ZyZW5jaC1Db25uZWN0aW9uL0ZyZW5jaC1Db25uZWN0aW9uLUNhcmFtZWwtQ290dG9uLUJvdy1CYWNrLU1pbmktRHJlc3MvUHJvZC8.

    http://us.asos.com/Religion-Religion-Bead-Back-Maxi-Dress/vzkmg/?iid=1534209&cid=8799&Rf-200=4&sh=0&pge=1&pgesize=200&sort=-1&clr=Black&mporgp=L1JlbGlnaW9uL1JlbGlnaW9uLUJlYWQtQmFjay1NYXhpLURyZXNzL1Byb2Qv

    ReplyDelete
  3. AbernackyMay 23, 2011 at 1:04 PM

    A) They want to be prepared, cut them some slack.

    B) You don't have to pick a "bridesmaids" dress. Why don't you let them wear a black dress of their choice? You could specify fabric and/or silhouette if you want.

    Stores: Ann Taylor, Ann Taylor Loft, ASOS, Banana Republic, Dillards, J Crew, The Limited, Nordstroms, Victoria’s Secret, White House Black Market.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMay 23, 2011 at 1:05 PM

    If you really want to relax, let them choose their own black dress to wear. Really? a $200 black dress?

    ReplyDelete
  5. ALKDMay 23, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    go to nordstrom.com click on women's & dresses, search by color, then pull down the menu to sort by price range. The macys.com site is very similar to search.

    I am in love with this black dress, although it has a peachy/pink top. http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/mbn-beaded-mock-two-piece-sheath-dress/3169188?origin=category&resultback=3648

    http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/maggy-london-illusion-back-pleated-matte-jersey-dress/3000163?origin=category&resultback=114

    http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=463255&CategoryID=5449&LinkType=PDPZ1

    http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=530931&CategoryID=5449&LinkType=#fn=COLOR%3DBlack%26PRICE%3D100.0|249.99%26sp%3D3%26spc%3D100

    ReplyDelete
  6. nicoleMay 23, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    I like the options from Rachel Roy (all well-under $200):
    http://tinyurl.com/455gmp9

    p.s. For my wedding, I chose the color blue and let my bridesmaids wear whatever shade and style they wanted to, and they all looked beautiful and felt comfortable. Just my two cents. Good luck. xo.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Emily ElizabethMay 23, 2011 at 2:56 PM

    I went the pick-your-own-dress route and it was surprisingly hard. A lot of them wound up worried and asking me about the dresses they found, if they were the "right" blue, and if they would look different from everyone else. My sister actually didn't even get a dress until 3 days before, and hated it, and changed into a different dress for the reception (which was fine by me – but sad that she hated her dress so much). They all, at some point, kind of wanted me to tell them what to do.

    So I'd say talk to them about it and if they feel happier picking their own, that's awesome, but don't think that necessarily lets you off the hook.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousMay 23, 2011 at 3:26 PM

    Since you won't lower your standards and use David's Bridal (which, by the way... are reasonably priced, fitted and WHO THE HELL CARES?), let them pick. It can take weeks/months for a dress to come in and then to be altered. You should be happy your bridesmaids give a damn about what dress they are wearing.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousMay 23, 2011 at 3:29 PM

    Agreed with Emily. The pick your own dress route could be more complicated, frustrating, and stressful than anything else. Just get all the bridesmaids together one day and go shopping. Have a few days in mind and call them, don't email/text, coordinate and plan like a mofo to get it all done in one outing. It is possible! Make sure they bring a pair of dress shoes along with them when trying on dresses.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousMay 23, 2011 at 5:41 PM

    OK, first things first...I am glad that my bs give a crap/damn/shit however I'd prefer not to be bombarded/harassed/stressed when I have a million other things going on. I think dresses from David's are fine however I think the service is, well to be blunt, really shitty there. I've been twice with no luck so at this point I'm over it. I'd love to let the girls pick their own dresses but when we tried to go that route 3 of the girls picked long (even though I specified I'd prefer short.) I've checked out a bunch of the suggestions and greatly appreciate it!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. irisiraMay 23, 2011 at 6:36 PM

    Um, I refused to use David's. I didn't want some soulless corporation that makes poor quality garments being supported by an event I was throwing. If you want to say that I refused to "lower my standards," yup, you're right, I did.

    I find it interesting that your BMs are freaking that you haven't chosen a dress yet. Usually it's the other way around - you've chosen one and need them to order it sooner rather than later, and they're waiting for [insert reason here].

    Try Etsy. That's where I ended up getting my BM dresses, and they were ready in about a month. Specifically, here: http://www.etsy.com/listing/57002326/the-juliana-dress-custom-sized?ref=pr_shop (She can do many colors, I imagine black being one of them.)

    Oh, and yeah, you can tell them to back the eff off and give you some space. Sorry, but them hounding you over the dresses is not being a supportive bridesmaid.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousMay 23, 2011 at 6:56 PM

    Just did this...picked 8 different black satin dresses from nordstrom (two brands so fabric would be the same) and told them to buy one (I had 4 girls). They look great, hemmed to the knee so it doesn't look like it's homecoming. $28-$160.

    ReplyDelete
  13. ElizabethMay 23, 2011 at 7:10 PM

    have them *rent their dresses*

    http://www.littleborroweddress.com/

    as someone who has sworn to never again pay $300+ for a bridesmaid dress that I don't love (i.e. one I didn't pick out myself,) I would be thrilled if one of my friends wanted me to rent a dress (and, if they end up loving the dress, they can buy it)

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousMay 23, 2011 at 7:11 PM

    the wedding is in november, those girls need to relax. plus its easier to get a black dress when fall clothes start coming out anyhow.

    & im doing the "pick your own" route and like others said, its not so easy.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousMay 23, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    LITERALLY?

    Really?

    ESB, the only thing that makes ESB Prime Time look tame is the incredibly hardcore and apparently not at all metaphorical wedding planning that goes on in ESB Ancillary.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousMay 24, 2011 at 3:31 AM

    You're in the US o A so they pay for their own dresses, no? Why don't they get to pick them too then? And what's so wrong with them being long, I mean really?

    Anyway, and I speak as someone who had bridesmaids dress drama and wishes she had done it this way, just get together, have a lunch and a laugh and literally go out and shop for the dresses. Together.

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousMay 25, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    Alfred Angelo makes some nice BM dresses. For a friend's wedding she chose the fabric and color, and we all picked our own styles. The prices ranged from $100 to $160. Not the cheapest option out there, but the dresses are quite nice.

    ReplyDelete
  18. kMay 26, 2011 at 2:46 PM

    I can't believe no one has suggested an asos search. Below is a link for $0-$200, black dresses. Pick like five and have your BMs pick from them.

    http://us.asos.com/Dresses-Party-dresses-casual-dresses/rsrcb/?cid=8799#state=Rf-200%3D4%40Rf-800%3D-1%2C108.313&parentID=-1&pge=0&pgeSize=200&sort=-1

    ReplyDelete
  19. BLMay 28, 2011 at 8:14 PM

    (A) I'm with you completely! I think it's fine to tell everyone to settle down, although politely. Send an e-mail or call them and say, "Look, I'm not ready to get the dresses yet. I'll keep you notified and make sure you have plenty of time to worry about the other details, shoes, etc." One of my bridesmaids was totally driven in getting the dresses ASAP, when I was not in a place to make any decisions yet. The result - dresses that have caused me many headaches because 1. the groom wants to wear a suit color that doesn't match, 2. I ended up going from one style of wedding to the opposite, 3. everyone chose matching dresses when I wanted more variety... etc. etc. Basically, I wasn't ready to make the decision, someone else took the reins and I ended up with something I didn't want.

    Also, Anon 7:11 is correct - the selection of little black dresses is going to be a thousand times better in late summer when the fall lines come out.

    (B) Don't do David's Bridal! Try a department store. Or you could have everyone pick out their own LBD, which my friend did. Yes, it ends up being a lot of work anyways because everyone wants to check back with you many times about dresses, styles, fabric, etc. but there's no way to avoid that as a bride. My bridesmaids have been running everything by me - including makeup! They are just trying to be helpful, and we're lucky that they care so much about making our weddings so perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousJuly 4, 2011 at 9:57 AM

    I have no love for David's Bridal - but I do want to point out that the (valid) accusation of poor quality clothing made under questionable conditions can equally be leveled at the manufacturers of many if not most dresses found in department stores. Even expensive dresses.

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousJuly 4, 2011 at 4:31 PM

    You probably should be worrying about the dresses now. When I ordered my BM dress for a wedding, it took 2 months to come in and I needed time for alterations.
    We were also given the choose your own route and it was perfect. All 8 girls picked a different dress and loved what they got.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Ms KAugust 24, 2011 at 3:46 PM

    I know I'm late to the party, but I'm going out on a limb and guessing these girls literally are at least 3 feet away from your rear end.

    /grammer nerd pearl clutching

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)