Mother of the bride thinks i'm a servant


Dear ESB,

I'm one of your french followers and love your blog! Great ideas and refreshing honesty!

I coming to you with a little dilemma : about 3 months ago, my BFF got married, I was one of her MoH (her sister was the other) and thrilled to be. Everything went well, the bachelorette, helping with some wedding details, etc…

Comes the wedding day, and the mother of the bride asks for my help for numerous things, ex : driving with family friends (no problem there, we're all going to the same place right?), being responsible for the groomsmen flower pins (they're grown-ups, but whatever), taking care of the prayer books and placing them in the church (no problem there either, we've got time). Once the ceremony was done, I was designated to round up all the 200 guests to go the venue where the rest of the party was held, then upon arriving there, Mother of the bride comes again to tell (not ask…) me to arrange the flowers in the ball room thus missing the photo-shoot (I appear in only ONE official photo). Later that night, I changed dresses (having previously checked with BFF/Bride, and getting a full "OK, wear that dress, it looks great!") and the mother shoots me black looks the rest of the night because some of our common friends complemented me.

Anyway, forward to now, my BFF has been making remarks that I only appear in one official picture, that I was pretty busy that special day and not enough "there for her".
I know that I should have had the courage to tell her mother to cut me some slack, but I didn't… Shame on me.
Here's my question, I don't want to create problems, but at the same time I don't like having to cope with the "blame" and would like to explain why it was so, can I tell my BFF about her mother's attitude towards me during the wedding? or would that be "rude" and should I just let it go?

Thanks for your view on this.

Take care!

Ripped Apart

Dear ESB,


I am in the midst of a full-on clusterf*ck rage, but have calmed down just enough to type out this request for help (or at least a new perspective).

I recently got married, and my wedding was wonderful, everything a girl (or guy) could hope for, right down to the expensive designer dress I wore. However, because we (hubs and I) are on a budget, I decided to sell my dress afterwards to recoup some costs. I was so careful about wearing the dress I even had a second (cheapie) dress to wear during the dance! As I was being whisked away on my honeymoon directly after the wedding, I asked my oldest friend and MOH to do the honours of having the dress cleaned at a reputable cleaners and sending it on to the buyer (I'd already sold the dress). I gave MOH a blank cheque and told her it was incredibly important that this dress be in pristine condition for the next bride. She later told me that she got a great deal by taking the dress to her boyfriend's Dad's business and that his mom did some "minor" repairs. I wasn't thrilled to hear that she didn't take the dress to either of the businesses I had recommended, but figured she was working in my best interests. The last time I saw the dress it had a few minor tears in the tulle, but was otherwise fine. 

Fast forward to now; I had a dispute with the bride who bought the dress because she said it was in incredibly poor condition; everything from giant tears to colour fade to (gasp) entire elements of the dress missing. I didn't argue with her much when I saw some pictures, but still figured she was exaggerating. I offered the bride a full refund and sat back and waited for my dress with a sinking feeling in my stomach...for very good reason. I got the dress back just hours ago and barely recognize it. The damage is extensive, and someone has definitely taken shears/amature skills to it in an attempt to hide the damage. Basically, my MOH's boyfriend's parents ruined my dress, and now I don't know if I will be able to sell it at all. But worse than that, my MOH must have realized that the dress was damaged and not told me. She was the one who packed it for shipping, so she would have seen what condition it was in after cleaning (she also bustled it at the wedding, so she, more than anyone, knows what it is supposed to look like!). I am convinced she knew, and just thought I would never find out. I have not yet spoken with her, but that is only because a) I'm so upset and b) I have no idea what to say.

So, my question, ESB, is what would you do if your oldest friend and MOH purposely lied to you? I don't want to be the kind of idiot who ruins a friendship over a dress...but she lied to me. Am I overreacting?

Sincerely,

Ripped Apart