tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post9060923973852959090..comments2023-06-11T07:05:34.795-07:00Comments on my maid of honor is a cunt: 8 weeks to wedding - matrons of honor fighting over dressesesbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215882729011442570noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-51998921476469405852012-08-23T18:41:11.978-07:002012-08-23T18:41:11.978-07:00fire them.
love your supportive man. life is too s...fire them.<br />love your supportive man. life is too short for such bullshit.redfrizzznoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-51131614386265475602012-08-22T16:43:23.715-07:002012-08-22T16:43:23.715-07:00Fire them both.
Knowing what you've been th...Fire them both. <br /><br />Knowing what you've been through, they don't deserve to have a place of honor in your wedding. .... because they are not honoring you.<br /><br />I know Cara and Co said all of this before; just throwing my hat into that ring of thought. They would perhaps be better guests .... it's clear they can't deal with more than that.<br /><br />"Please be my wedding guest. You've made it clear that being more is too difficult and I'm sorry I put you in that position." <br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-14360660419450365492012-08-22T15:38:24.574-07:002012-08-22T15:38:24.574-07:00I let my TWO sister/maids of honors pick their own...I let my TWO sister/maids of honors pick their own dresses. One is 35 the other is 15. I thought it would be PERFECT! They have different styles, completely different body types, and opposite personalities.<br /><br />Much to my surprise it was like PULLING TEETH! We didn't get a dress for both until three weeks before the wedding!! (We looked for at least 8 months).<br /><br />Sometimes a little freedom is the hardest thing.<br /><br />Your matrons, btw, are acting like jerks. I'm with everyone else: tell them to figure it out, change your perspective on the whole thing so it bothers you less, and have a WONDERFUL time at your wedding. Even if they come matching and naked.Sydneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-72117551317891048562012-08-22T13:10:52.462-07:002012-08-22T13:10:52.462-07:00I say you just check out of it entirely. It sound...I say you just check out of it entirely. It sounds like you don't really care so much about what they wear, so let them sort it out on their own. Send them a lovely note saying, "I'm afraid I'm just not any use in helping out with your dress selection. Know that I love you and just want you being there; the dress you pick does not matter to me. You've got far better fashion sense than me, and I know you will be beautiful no matter what. I have other wedding things to attend to, so I'm sure you've got this handled." The reality is that they will show up in something...so it sounds like you shouldn't let their concerns become yours, especially when their concerns are so ridiculously superficial!<br /><br />I had several bridesmaids and also allowed them to wear whatever they wanted in a color range (which was several colors). There was some emails where some tried to make suggestions which involved more cohesion, such as shoes/no shoes (beach wedding) decision, dress length, having matching accessories... I let them sort it out and in the end, as can be expected, there was no cohesion beyond the rule I already laid down (how could there be when they live in all different parts of the world and know me from different times in my life!?)...and they looked fabulous. End of story. <br /><br />As you yourself noted, your plate is full, and there are more important things in life. Let the other stuff roll off your back. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-59385078073684607822012-08-22T10:43:46.650-07:002012-08-22T10:43:46.650-07:00yes but 'come to my wedding a guest, wear what...yes but 'come to my wedding a guest, wear what you want' leaves much less room for discussion than 'will you be my bridesmaid? you can wear what you want.' carahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09351483253361159121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-21184455437993657402012-08-22T10:29:19.634-07:002012-08-22T10:29:19.634-07:00Ha, WEAR. I did it, too.Ha, WEAR. I did it, too.achnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-89262057291434853942012-08-22T10:27:25.477-07:002012-08-22T10:27:25.477-07:00Sure, but the bride ALREADY told them "where ...Sure, but the bride ALREADY told them "where what you want."achnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-41254859845069426122012-08-22T09:15:14.935-07:002012-08-22T09:15:14.935-07:00"their phone numbers" honestly!"their phone numbers" honestly!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-17838872770965613412012-08-22T09:14:35.324-07:002012-08-22T09:14:35.324-07:00Agreed, I'd say "Please don't ask me ...Agreed, I'd say "Please don't ask me about this any more, I don't want to be involved at all."<br /><br />Then swap phone their numbers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-16361350069211566832012-08-22T08:01:08.611-07:002012-08-22T08:01:08.611-07:00Do it.Do it.Toniahttp://www.ittybittyimpact.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-76661173264593645292012-08-22T07:55:56.594-07:002012-08-22T07:55:56.594-07:00I think with your revised ceremony, it makes sense...I think with your revised ceremony, it makes sense to say this: You know what, what's important to me is marrying my fiance. I trust that you'll show up in something appropriate and beautiful, no need to coordinate with me!<br /><br />Leave it at that. You wouldn't need to know ahead of time what friends are wearing to a party, so I think with your focus firmly in the right place, that you give them each other's numbers and tell them you're looking forward to seeing them the day of the wedding. Hugs to you!!Amanda Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04370433555070676395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-56823195493028403512012-08-22T07:46:43.767-07:002012-08-22T07:46:43.767-07:00Exchange contact info between the two of them. Mak...Exchange contact info between the two of them. Make sure if there is anything they could do that would upset you (i.e. tons of cleavage, ball gown, tiaras) let them know. After that it's their job. They know the date and I'm sure can find something suitable if they work together. nehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02397487968349083154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-17159516188655135342012-08-22T07:38:19.395-07:002012-08-22T07:38:19.395-07:00Cara is a genius. Cara is a genius. Robhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06761422201906206218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-90003493987435498652012-08-22T07:22:15.433-07:002012-08-22T07:22:15.433-07:00As tempting as it is to just yell at them and tell...<br />As tempting as it is to just yell at them and tell them they are being a bunch of preteen cunts that will probably result in more crap from them and thus more emotional hurt from you.<br /><br />Also unless they are planning on heading down the aisle butt naked sooner or later they will need to pick an outfit. So I'd take Katie's suggestion but set some ground rules about what they wear (say at least knee high and not low cut to avoid attention grabbing maneuver from one MOH) and either say I don't want to see it until the wedding or set date for them meeting with you to show you what they are wearing.<br /><br /><br />Also this will sound incredibly trite and hard in light of your recent trauma but perhaps you can change how you feel about their antics so it doesn't feel so hard to deal with. Is their any way you can change how you think about their drama and thus how you feel about the situation? Can you make fun of them in your head or with your fiance instead of feeling ground down by it? Elizahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17510823521385226823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-89566185866804316962012-08-22T07:17:30.393-07:002012-08-22T07:17:30.393-07:00WEAR. Jesus christ. I was so overwhelmed by the cu...WEAR. Jesus christ. I was so overwhelmed by the cuntiness that I forgot how to spell. carahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09351483253361159121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-77734587744851394082012-08-22T07:02:11.498-07:002012-08-22T07:02:11.498-07:00I'm with all of the other ladies on this one, ...I'm with all of the other ladies on this one, nix the bridal party. If they are going to behave like children they should not be part of the ceremony. Then they can wear whatever they please without overwhelming the bride with their vanity.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-61619686239623257432012-08-22T06:23:27.578-07:002012-08-22T06:23:27.578-07:00This is the right response. Nail on the head.This is the right response. Nail on the head.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-55315996108114071922012-08-22T06:17:13.778-07:002012-08-22T06:17:13.778-07:00I'd have to say, I'd probably forgo the br...I'd have to say, I'd probably forgo the bridal party as well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-244414203011422602012-08-22T06:07:34.704-07:002012-08-22T06:07:34.704-07:00I think we have a winner here. If they're goi...I think we have a winner here. If they're going to act like this, then they shouldn't be standing up there with you weeks after you've gracefully dealt with tragedy and life-assessing. Fuck. That. Noise.Sarahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-70499284427625741202012-08-22T03:00:59.853-07:002012-08-22T03:00:59.853-07:00"Thanks for your support but we've decide..."Thanks for your support but we've decided not to have a bridal party any more. Where what you want."<br />carahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09351483253361159121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-14371419233345794892012-08-21T19:30:36.700-07:002012-08-21T19:30:36.700-07:00Pick a date and tell them that if they can't d...Pick a date and tell them that if they can't decide by then, then you would select the dresses! OR show them this post & ask them to grow up! :) Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-26364483603676936272012-08-21T19:25:31.139-07:002012-08-21T19:25:31.139-07:00Remind them, gently, WHY you decided to get marrie...Remind them, gently, WHY you decided to get married NOW, and why they are both important to you. No guilt trip, no drama, just remind them what you are focusing on. Then give them each the other person's phone number (keep e-mail out of it, too passive-aggressive) and ask them to please work something out. Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03645163533619450071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-67412771007089136862012-08-21T15:37:02.246-07:002012-08-21T15:37:02.246-07:00If you'd like to take a less sugar-coated stan...If you'd like to take a less sugar-coated stance, tell them this is not prom and their greatest concern should not be what everyone else is fucking wearing. Tell them they're acting like fucking preteens and to grow up and wear whatever they damn well want. Tell them to just wear fucking potato sacks if they're insisting on behaving like this. Tell them to stop worrying about the other trying to one-up them, because your wedding is not about either of them and what they're wearing, it's about you and your fiance and your lives together and with your community, including them.<br /><br />Honestly, though, I would tell them everything you told us. Then kick one foot up each of their asses and try to focus on what really is important. I really do hope they stop hurting you with their pettiness though. It sounds like more hurt is truly the very last thing you need right now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-87195545319482137792012-08-21T14:07:38.618-07:002012-08-21T14:07:38.618-07:00Ignore them.
Seriously, tell them you're not...Ignore them. <br /><br />Seriously, tell them you're not talking to them about the dresses until they show up (together or separately) with the dress they're planning to wear in their hands. <br /><br />You don't have to be mean or agressive about it, but you can still say in a friendly way: "I have so many things that I'm planning, I'm sorry but I can't play go-between with you two." Then you have to enforce it and not let them talk to you about it. Katienoreply@blogger.com