tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post8102178110527948525..comments2023-06-11T07:05:34.795-07:00Comments on my maid of honor is a cunt: My Bridesmaid's Gone Rogueesbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215882729011442570noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-19621370332472282822012-04-17T12:52:12.184-07:002012-04-17T12:52:12.184-07:00Im curious to know what you think of someone in th...Im curious to know what you think of someone in the opposite situation. Im a bridesmaid and the bride wont retun my phone calls. I havent seen her for over four months. I had to ASK her about a Save the Date because everyone else got one. She says she wants me to be in her wedding, over text and IM, but im getting the feeling im a placeholder and not a friend. Any advice?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-88372652731644389682011-04-12T15:11:48.103-07:002011-04-12T15:11:48.103-07:00Your real question is how to spin the reasons (ho-...Your real question is how to spin the reasons (ho-hum trip to California and less frequent phone calls... ) you gave for writing off a friendship into a way to make yourself the victim in this situation... Yeah.... You can't. If you don't like the chick anymore, or if you've grown apart, say so and move along... But it doesn't sound like she's done anything to wrong you, so maybe it isn't her at all.<br /><br />Additionally, it bears mentioning that while you mentioned you aren't the type of person to lie, you've clearly already discussed this with the rest of your wedding party -- meaning the poor girl is already ostracized and your decision is already made... Do her a favor and let her know sooner ... the phone works both ways.Mackenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15349899439775416886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-10947597256254417922011-03-30T19:56:19.543-07:002011-03-30T19:56:19.543-07:00I think there may be something else going on here....I think there may be something else going on here... the email mentioned that "she is mormon but would do everything mormons weren't supposed to do." I am assuming the author of the email is a mormon as well. If the BM is out drinking/partying/having sex, this could cause a lot of tension in the relationship.<br /><br />I'm thinking this is a little bit of not wanting the party girl to come and stand up in the temple. And that the lack of phone calls and spending time together might be also be caused by the religious differences... it's hard to spend time together when one person can't partake in the same activities as the other.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-6412745056848044062011-03-28T20:07:22.097-07:002011-03-28T20:07:22.097-07:00Big life events are always opportunities to evalua...Big life events are always opportunities to evaluate our lives, take stock of our situations. The comments above advise you to be dump this chick or make the effort to figure stuff out. They're right, you should def do one of those things. But first, you need to decide if *you* are interested in continuing this relationship. <br /><br />Friendship is a two-way street. Brides tend to get very "it's all about me" (myself included) in a way that they wouldn't if they weren't about to get married. It doesn't sound like you were really maintaining this relationship before you got engaged, and now the imminent wedding photos are forcing you to think about what that means. And while you're thinking, remember that your upcoming wedding doesn't mean your old bestie doesn't need something from you right now. Or maybe she just needs you to back the f*ck off. <br /><br />In the end, if you boot (or even "demote") this girl, your friendship is probably over. There's no coming back. If you're comfortable with that, you should definitely cut her scenes. If you aren't ready to give up on the relationship, you've gotta keep her and just manage your own expectations.Abby-Wan Kenobihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11790093578016960912noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-49245909773307283482011-03-28T13:30:25.399-07:002011-03-28T13:30:25.399-07:00I'm with anonymous. Unless she's done some...I'm with anonymous. Unless she's done something atrocious you aren't telling us about, I hardly think that being a bit busy right now qualifies for kicking someone out our your wedding party. If that happened to me, I'd be super sad and no longer want to be friends with that person.<br /><br />It sounds like something big is going on in her life — whether that's work or family issues or something else. It sounds like she fully intends to rekindle her relationship with you, but it's slightly overwhelmed right now. Instead of kicking her out, find out what's going on. I mean, if this woman has been your friend for that long, shouldn't you care about what's going on in her life?Ms. Bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06985820953743653787noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-78769544288295138532011-03-27T19:02:49.387-07:002011-03-27T19:02:49.387-07:00What will it hurt to have her in your wedding? Ha...What will it hurt to have her in your wedding? Has she been ditching out on duties? Were you going to ask her to be your MOH? Can't you just downgrade her to a regular bridesmaid? What if something personal is going on in her life? One more bridesmaid isn't going to ruin everything is it? Why ruin six (plus?) years of friendship for one day? Have coffee with her, talk it out, try to see what's going on in HER life that could be as (or more!) important than your wedding day. If she's totally unresponsive, let her know that you're a little hurt by her absence and see how she responds. TALK TO HER. Not us!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-8826964459147020442011-03-27T14:23:28.629-07:002011-03-27T14:23:28.629-07:00Let her off the hook. I mean, it sucks that the &q...Let her off the hook. I mean, it sucks that the "vibe is weird" or whatever, but if you can't imagine having this former BFF/current sort-of F up there with you, then have the conversation ("we can't seem to make time for each other right now, and I really need some commitment to this process in order to make things easy and streamlined."Kaitlyn Kochanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04786479100009809264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-66213578288446096252011-03-27T09:44:22.639-07:002011-03-27T09:44:22.639-07:00i don't think it is her MOH, just a regualar b...i don't think it is her MOH, just a regualar bridesmaid.... sooo, she used to be "basically your best friend," but now you're "not best friends anymore." guess what? all relationships go through transitions. if she's not your MOH, what exactly do you expect of her? you haven't really mentioned any bridesmaid duties that she's failed to come through on, just that she isn't spending as much time with you as you'd like. even though she went on a trip with you to CA. maybe i'm in the minority, but i think you need to suck it up and not take things so personally. people grow apart and relationships change, but you don't have to make it about you and your wedding. it's just life. if you're gonna pissed at her for not jumping through hoops to show you how much she loves you and how excited she is about your wedding, then i guess to save future drama you should gently give her the boot. but i think it's more about you managing your expectations. from what you have described, i don't see anything she has done that is boot-worthy here.Auntie Gravityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05890018105456084242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-71869601213923848672011-03-26T01:38:57.920-07:002011-03-26T01:38:57.920-07:00There is nothing like a wedding (or divorce or bab...There is nothing like a wedding (or divorce or baby) to make you see who your true friends are, and it is crushing. What she is doing to you is as upsetting, if not more, than you asking her to step aside for a more roleworthy moh. <br /><br />This is your wedding, you want it to be perfect, tell her you need support, the moh role is not just to be there on the day, it is a crutch for the bride and someone to share some of the workload (esp if you are a regular bride without megabucks)<br /><br />Basically moh is your best friend/ partner in crime, the person you would do anything for at anytime and her for you. If you don't have one of those in your life, don't have one at your wedding!Clare Waterfall Photographyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16238468642740749541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-90362462658692463892011-03-25T19:15:38.763-07:002011-03-25T19:15:38.763-07:00I second what @Elle said.
Also, stay consistent w...I second what @Elle said.<br /><br />Also, stay consistent with your abbreviations - & or and, what's it gonna be?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-14484107571172139422011-03-25T17:23:09.896-07:002011-03-25T17:23:09.896-07:00I wonder what part of the story you shortened...
...I wonder what part of the story you shortened...<br /><br />You sound like you are whining, and that you reached out to ESB to give you a hug and make you feel better. <br /><br />I am pretty sure you are an adult because you are planning your wedding - so act like one: call her up and say, listen we haven't really communicated lately and we have grown distant. It's not that we aren't friends, but I am going to cut down my wedding party, and since you haven't been very involved I hope you wouldn't mind.Ellenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-72908617878247159812011-03-25T13:39:48.008-07:002011-03-25T13:39:48.008-07:00This is Tacky Email Queen, the other crazy pants w...This is Tacky Email Queen, the other crazy pants who submitted a post, but I can totally relate. I got a lot of sh*t from my post for not being direct and failed to mention that my BFF also went missing for about three weeks (wouldn't return my phone calls)after I got engaged. It's weird, but many gals have told me getting married and getting preggers are two major life events that seem to bring out the weirdest feelings in some of our fellow sisters. After getting engaged I was really forced to reevaluate my old friendships versus new friendships and decided to foster some of my newer friendships (made three of these girls bridesmaids) since these are the girls that I see often. We've gotten so much closer and I was shocked at how involved they've been in the planning. So, my advice? Let her off the hook & look forward to building new memories with the gals who are around you now!Tacky Email Queennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-74623847587623169002011-03-25T13:39:41.961-07:002011-03-25T13:39:41.961-07:00Why do I love the word cunt? Wait, I know.Why do I love the word cunt? Wait, I know.A Bicycle Built For Twohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02068199676248422400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-75964043128589195242011-03-25T13:34:46.564-07:002011-03-25T13:34:46.564-07:00Am I alone in thinking it's the letter-writer ...Am I alone in thinking it's the letter-writer being a bit needy here? It's just a wedding, lady, not a time to start doing performance reviews on all of your friends.Kathrynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18292191239014356426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-15536461679603988012011-03-25T13:19:04.603-07:002011-03-25T13:19:04.603-07:00she needs to know and you need less things to worr...she needs to know and you need less things to worry about.<br /><br />stop trying to hold on to your non-existent friendship. are the ties with her family more important than her "friendship"? if so and you MUST have her in your wedding, contact someone in her family to see what her deal is and why she is MIA.<br /><br />if not, then expect ties with her family to be an "innocent bystander". you already tried to contact her and are obviously trying harder than she is, so just let her off the hook.Angelahttp://ten9ten.usnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-58768832483842662022011-03-25T13:16:31.882-07:002011-03-25T13:16:31.882-07:00can I just say how excited I am to see future entr...can I just say how excited I am to see future entries in the "mormons gone wild" category?!?!nikkihttp://ridiculouslyeverafter.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-84556418641596912082011-03-25T13:12:05.732-07:002011-03-25T13:12:05.732-07:00Maybe I'm cruel and heartless, but I say, as E...Maybe I'm cruel and heartless, but I say, as ESB has said many a time in the past, CUT THE BITCH OUT. Or more politely, let her know you're letting her off the hook. <br /><br />You basically gave her a little notice you would've wanted more support and she didn't pull through. Call her up and lay it down.Dominiquehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09496405238369664765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490441141453035315.post-37063692527857337702011-03-25T13:12:01.052-07:002011-03-25T13:12:01.052-07:00There's nothing wrong with cutting the string ...There's nothing wrong with cutting the string and telling her directly, even if you still invite her to the wedding. She won't care much, especially if the friendship has dwindled so.<br /><br />Life's too short to be politically correct. Just be nice about it, and do it in person.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com